Tuesday, December 31, 2024

I'll miss the stony beaches the most



This year we moved to my old home town, so it's been almost 12 months of rampant nostalgia. I can't walk past shops that closed down decades ago without remembering how I got Scream! comics from there in the mid 1980s, and this is is the town where I grew up, so literally every single street corner has some kind of memory stapled to it.

Look, there's the corner where my dad gave me my first driving lesson in the dark, in the rain. There's the beach where I used to drink scrumpy and read The Invisibles over and over again. There's where I was crowned Tiny Tots champion at the 1980-81 Caroline Bay Carnival. I've still got the sash.

It's not the same. I know that. Old insititutons that I was aboslutely gutted to see die faded away this year, and the only proper news story I wrote this year was about the cinema where I saw the first Superman film in 1979. 

But the main difference is that I have two pre-schoolers, running around the place like absolute maniacs, playing with my old toys, falling over on my old playgrounds, and it makes me feel so fucking alive to see them at play. 

Of course I'll miss beloved family and friends the most when we go. I'm also going to miss the long, stony beaches when we leave here, because there is nobody else around, and the kids know to stay away from the roaring waves, and there are all sorts of stones and sticks and crabs and clay and critters to play with.   

But we are leaving. We are still going back to Auckland in a month, because we follow the Tao of Brain Boitano. The years move so fast the older you get, but this will also be the one where I took my kids back home, and we had the best time. 

Goodbye Timaru.

(The usual summer slowdown at the Tearoom of Despair might be a bit longer, while I take care of basics like finding a fucking place to live, but I should be back with more inane and truly heartfelt ramblings sometime in February. See you then.)

Monday, December 30, 2024

Another year in movies



I saw less movies in 2024 than any other year since I started taking notes of what I was actually watching, but only just - this year the tally reached 245, just below the numbers recorded in 2021 and 2023, still well below the record 316 viewed in 2022. I have no excuse for this low number, I just got sucked into catching up on all the Star Wars TV shows I had fallen behind on. (I know they're not good for me, but I just ignore the big parts and dig the fighting.)

Still, if you count the 263 movies I had playing in the background while I worked this year, as part of my regular triple feature fun, I saw more films than ever before. But they were all things I had seen before, and I barely paid attention to most of them. They were just background noise. Even Die Hard.

The 245 movies I did officially watch this year did feature a lot of Netflix trash, because we only got free access to the streamer for the first time this year, but I also went to more movies at the actual cinema this year than any other year I've been doing this. I also loved walking out of theatres after things like The Zone of Interest, feeling like I'd got to see some proper fucking cinema.

This was my diet this year: 

  • Even though I lived in a town with only one cinema, it was just a pleasant 20 minute walk away, so I ended up seeing 19 films in the theatre. That was 7.95 percent of all the films I watched this year, and I'm seeing more as God intended, each and every year I do this. 
  • Less than a fifth - 17.99 percent - of the films I watched this year were ones I had seen before, after I made a conscious effort to get into new stuff. Comfort watches are all well and good, but they don't change the soul. (Neither do all the many, many direct-to-Netflix spy movies I keep watching, but you never know until you try.)
  • The percentage of sequels, prequels and remakes was 16.31 percent, which was way worse than any other year. I also blame the streaming effect.
  • The 6.69 percent of films that were made before I was born was the worst ratio since I started doing this thing. I am a bad cinema snob.
  • It was the second highest percentage of films that were not in English, at 7.53 percent, which is still fairly dire.
  • I still watch a lot of documentary feature films - 7.95 percent - because I like getting a whole non-fiction story in two hours or less, instead of an eight-part mini-series.
  • And while one of the last films I saw this year was the excellent Sleeping Dogs, I am, once again, a bad kiwi. Just six films - 2.51 percent - were made in Aotearoa. I gotta get better at this. 

My favourite film of the year was probably The Substance, although I'm still thinking on that one. But any film that starts off feelings a little Kubrick, and ends up going a lot Troma, was always going to hit the fuckin' spot. 

I'm ending the year with that Guy Ritchie film where Henry Cavill kills a bunch of Nazi fucks, and I'm going to start the new year with some Nosferatu down the local cinema, and I'm looking forward to the walk home in the dark after that one. Same as it ever was.

Saturday, December 28, 2024

This is the Tearoom of Despair: Writing about comics


My head is not yet full


Here comes Jim Lee!


Talking with Dylan Horrocks


The Fantastic Four's greatest adventure


Carlos is the man


All around the world


Moving out of home with Marvels


Lone Wolf and Cub: Walking the white path


I still hate you, Captain Sunshine


Thrillpower overload on dull suburban streets


He's the goddamn Batman


All Moore, all the time


Footrot Flats: Down on the farm for Christmas


Don't forget me, Animal Man


A life of comic books


Oh no he didn't.


Bringing death and terror to the masses


In Barry Linton's Auckland, everything was hot, heavy and horny


Luther Arkwright: Clean living might still save us all


I still miss you, Dave Cockrum


The Chaos Monsters: Too cute to live


What the world needs now...


Kevin O'Neill's bestiary is finished


Silver Surfer: Blinded by the gleam of his heavenly arse


Wonder girls, shadow cats and magpies


Who's that Cable?


ClanDestine and the unlocked uncertainty of a comic from long ago


Free your comics


Mark Millar wants to know what you are talking about



The Biz


The adventures of Nikolai Dante


Still Uncanny, after all these years


The big books of Bolland


We're all turning into Larry Niven


Last night the Invisibles saved my life


Bob Temuka has come unstuck in time



Slaine versus the El Women


The humanity of Watchmen


The speed of Dillon


How to become Seto Thargo


I didn't need church when I had the corner dairy


Alan Grant gave the kids what they needed


Love and Rockets: Something's gonna explode


Harvey's kinda town


I don't miss the Reign, but I do miss that hunt


Hero of the Beach


Ambush Bug: So silly, so quickly


What if I never read comics?


Doomed Patrolling


This was my most-read post ever


15 reasons why Batman v Hulk ruled


Warren comics freak me out


The peak of geek


Total crush on the New Warriors


The night I met the Big Red Cheese