Return to planet fiction

This blog is devoted to my thoughts and ideas about the stories other people tell, but I got some of my own. 

I've always written fiction, and still do. I'm halfway through a series of three novels about Auckland that I've been working on since 2015, and I'm probably going to drop that soon and do the pulpiest thing imaginable, because I can't get a story featuring Wulf Sternhammer fighting Hannibal Lecter in 19th century Aotearoa out of my head.

I do have a chronic lack of interest in these things once I've finished, and have made extremely little effort to get anything published. It's not just that I'm bored with the stories when I'm done with them, it's that the endless hustle that modern authors need to do to promote their own work just looks fucking tiring.

But I can publish whatever the fuck I feel like on this blog, so why not showcase a couple of things? My conviction that they are embarrassingly bad is no excuse.

The Man From LOVE is a short novel written a few years ago and was a vain attempt to try and update the James Bond template for a new century, replacing the usual sex and violence with tactical empathy and smarter solutions, while still keeping as much kung fu as possible. I also tried to throw in The Meaning Of Life for shits and giggles. It didn't really work, but at least I fucking tried.

This is the Man From LOVE:

#1. It all starts at the movies
#2. No shot
#3. All you need is dance
#4. A night off from saving the world
#5. Dinner with the Goodsons
#6. Cleaning up afterwards
#7. How to sign up
#8 A virtual certainty
#9. All will be well
#10. Wrong
#11. Don't look now
#12. Dealing with it
#13. Metaphysical manipulation for fun and profit
#14. Run fool, run
#15. This is not normal
#16. The man in the moon
#17. A nice glass of red
#18. The Trevor situation
#19. Left behind
#20. There is no Trevor
#21. This is not you
#22 Cross country
#23. Good morning
#24. Lost with the fairies
#25. Alone
#26. Fighting and fucking
#27. The House of Good
#28. How the world works
#29. Everything is everything
#30. Cool

Therapeutic Skin Jobs is a short novel written more than 15 years ago for a laugh. It was the direct result of an unfortunate fan fiction phase, but I still have loads and loads of Doctor Skin stories bouncing around in my head, and I even let one escape a couple of years ago. It felt good!

This is Therapeutic Skin Jobs:

#1: It's All About You
#2: Wake Up Call
#3: Going Back On His World
#4: We Don't Talk About Love
#5: All Sounds The Same
#6: Wet
#7: Push It
#8: Just Another Saturday Night
#9: Kinky Space Pirates
#10: Home Again
#11: Burn It All
#12: Off The Beach
#13: The House Of Everything
#14: Getting Older, Getting Faster
#15: History: Now
#16: A Night In
#17: Where You Belong
#18: Hello Again
#19: Together Again, Never Apart
#20: Come On
#21: Escape into Infinity!
#22: Don't Go Anywhere
#23: Fight!
#24: Second Verse, Same As The First
#25: Getting Away With It All
#26: Destination Unknown
#27: Green Light Go!
#28: Here We Go Now
#29: It's All About Me