Friday, March 22, 2019
Everything is awful, I'm just going to watch some Red Dwarf for a while
A week ago, there was a cowardly and cruel attack on the beautiful people attending prayers at two mosques in my old home town of Christchurch, and it's been an appalling and devastating and nasty week for the whole country, no matter how many vigils are held, or how many guns are banned.
I'm a home page editor for one of the country's news sites, and I've been deep into this story since the first awful reports started coming out on Friday afternoon. It's fucking rough, and while I have to walk away from the desk every now and then to catch a breath, I just can't start bawling at the desk. It's awkward and uncomfortable for all concerned, and is a serious impediment to getting the news out on time.
I saved most of it till I got home. Everyone has to deal with this kind of thing in their own way, and after all day in it on Friday, I had to get some escapist thrills and emotional manipulation into me, so I went through some old episodes of Red Dwarf before the brain calmed down enough to let me get to bed.
I use entertainments to get it all out, and in the past week have been bawling at the end of the latest Star Trek, or getting set off by the chorus of Bright Phoebus. I used The Leftovers to get through some profound grief last year and watching new Fleabag every week leaves me an emotional wreck, in all the best possible ways.
Every day I see people on the internet getting upset by their entrainments, and I just think they're doing it so wrong. They're here to help, and if they're really making you feel worse, you really need to try something else.
I'm going back to work now and pretending to be all professional and shit, but then I'm coming home to watch some Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. It's the only way I know how.