Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Venture Bros: Reach up my ass and grab my heart


“Your position is untenable, Mr Samson. I have only to increase my force field power to sever your brachial artery."

“Yeah? Then you'll be drowning in my blood! Huh? Now who's untenable?”

“I have a high velocity cannon pointed at your chest!”

“...I can dodge it.”



“Dude, I am like 90 percent sure I just punched a guy to death.”



“...With Robot Beauregard as ROBOBO!” 



"He's fine! Idiot thought his pocket blew up."



“Nerves might explain him throwing up his dinner, but not throwing me across the room! Or how he could come back from the dead and start ranting in Babylonian!”

“What did you say? Are you sure it was Babylonian?”

"I dunno, it could've been Sumerian. It's not really the takeaway here, Doc.”



“I was young too once, Monarch. I hated Professor Cadmium so bad, it was all I thought about. But you know, I found a way to deal with my obsession.”

“What did you do? I'll try anything at this point.”

 “I took a deep breath, I marched right up to him, looked him right in the eye, and then CRUSHED HIS SKULL WITH MY BARE HANDS. BEFORE I BURNED HIS HOUSE TO THE GROUND, I SLAUGHTERED HIS ENTIRE FAMILY. And you're the first to know that. Finish your task, Blue Morpho, and then change your ways.”

“You are so... If you were a woman, I would never stop calling you.”



“Oh, look at this here dangerous situation! That beastie is a man-eater! Better dart that mighty bear! And I'd dart the pirate as well! For safety! Dart me for safety!”



“Yay! Study buddies!”



"I believe in the soul, the hanging curveball, pretzel rods (not twists), the powdery smell of girls' deoderant, that pets talk to each other when we're not listening. I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted with clones! I believe in the sweet spot, magical invisible gnomes, that cereal is not just for breakfast, but for any meal. And I believe in long, slow deep soft, wet kisses that last three days Stopping only to go to the bathroom, obviously.”



“No butt stuff this time, okay? I LIKED IT.”



"Will the Council be more diverse? Because, I for one, would like to see more women in positions of authority.”

“And more people of color!”

“And more people of COLOR!”



“Thank you, Manolo.”

“Si. Whatever, Mr Monarch.”

“So wise, Manolo. 'Whatever', indeed.”



“I can't stand that Bieber kid. He's such a punk.”

“Yeah, but chicks dig him.”

“Nah, Hank. What chicks really dig is a guy who is confident enough to be himself. Like Steve McQueen.”


“... Google him.”



“It was all kinds of scary. But here is the part that has been troubling me for 40 years: I performed every known sexual act that night. I mean, everything! I don't know if he did a switcheroo or he just had a superduper costume, but I made tender, yet purely accidental love to the Blue Morpho. So when I tell you he would have one anything for Jonas Venture, you can beat your sweet bippy that I mean anything.”



“Um... Ask him... if he can.. um... take his shirt off.”

“That's great, Doc. Now, can you take your shirt off?”

“It's.. It's a onesie.”

“Yeah, that's fine. Go ahead.”

“Weirdest. Arching. Ever.”



“How come even when I am Brock, I still wish I was Brock?”

“That is something I have been living with my whole life.”

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