Saturday, July 27, 2013

Venture Bros: 'I'm some kind of super-cool, probably magic, Highlander cyborg clone!'

Previously, on the Venture Bros





“No! The metal murder man from my nightmares! He was real!”



“He always said he'd have the last laugh.”

“He was always wrong!”



“Where are you, blood of my blood? Come to King's Landing and take your rightful seat on my iron throne!”

“Go for it.”

“Wha-? Why the fuck are you Rocky?”

“You said you were going to be Drago.”

“Drogo! Kahl Drogo! You're supposed to be my kahlessi! What, did you think I meant Ivan Drago?”

“Well, obviously.”

“Why would I-? What's sexy about that?”

“Well what the hell is a Khal Drogo?”

“Not a what! A who! From Game Of Thrones!”

“Well, I have never seen that stupid thing.”

“It is not stupid! It's spectacular!”



“Are you nuts?”

“Sometimes! Not today.”



“They had nutty buddies!”



“Submit to desire. I offer you ultimate pleasure. Your thirst, your lust is hunger. Submit to my toast. My pleasure toast. You hunger for it.”



“He's coming in low and slow. That's classic Monarch look-at-my-cool-new-thing approach."

“Should I ready the extinguishers?”

“Please. He only uses fire and lasers at night. I got my money on acid, or a magnet kind of thing.”




“I didn't specify my thumb!”



 “Just fill it for me! I literally need a hand here!”

“No! No drinking! I'm the one who has to hold your hair while you throw up.”

“I can hold our liquor, sir!”

“The last time you did this, you vomited for a solid hour. I swear I saw a license plate come up. It was like we were gutting a tiger shark.”



“Hench has killed hench!”



“I don't remember any of this!”



“Last year, right where you're sitting, David Bowie - looking like David Bowie in the seventies - slapped a guy with invisible arms and legs. Right over there, Brock killed a guy from Dimension C, that may or may not have been an alternate Earth.”



“Why is he helping us?”

“The albino code. A covenant more sacred than his loyalty to St Cloud!”



“If it's cat fight you want, sister, you messed with the wrong pussycat.”


“Rust, what the hell is this? Cola and.. tomato soup?”

“Close. It's ketchup and bourbon. I call it the 'hunchback'.”



“I've been listening to this stupid learning bed my whole life. And you know what? I haven't learned shit! I can tell you how many taste buds there are on the human tongue, but I've never even french-kissed a girl!"



“Well, guess you should just go home. Do you even call it a home, or is it just a boxful of memories?”

“All right. Um, can I get a ride?”

“Nah, can't. I gotta tell the wife you escaped, and.. you understand.”

“Yeah, no. So, uh, should I just...?”

“Yeah, let yourself out. Break a couple of things. Make it look... good.”

“Euh, I like being tortured more than this here. This is... bleah....”



“Fingers. Fingers.”

“Pay attention, Ghost Robot.”






“Why are you calling me, man?”



“May I be excused?”



“Yeah! Mother helped build the wall! Tear down the wall! Tear down the wall!”






"Come on.... Come on....



“Hey, why do you still have tits?”



“Listen to him. He's like his old man. But he's too young for somebody named Destiny. He should be with a Pam, or a Pamela.”

“Or a Pammy, maybe.”

“Pammy?!? The boy's not ready for a damn Pammy!”

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