Friday, May 8, 2009

Vomit #6: Galactus is here! WE'RE ALL FUCKED!

In a surprising case of life imitating art, Galactus the World Devourer appeared over Manhattan this morning.

And with Galactus intent on converting the planets mass into raw energy before feasting on it, it would appear that human civilization is doomed.

“HEAR ME, PEOPLE OF EARTH!” said Galactus in a statement apparently heard by everybody on the planet. “GALACTUS MUST FEED!”

Without any further comment, Galactus commenced building a strange unearthly device that onlookers have described as ‘impressively Kirby-like’.

Stan Lee, ex-writer of Fantastic Four and formerly believed to have been the creator of Galactus, refused to comment, although a close source indicated he was secretly pleased that his vision has been proven correct, right down to the purple boots. Even if it results in the death of us all.

International reaction has been pessimistic. “The outlook is grim,” said President Obama in a masterpiece of understatement. “We have no weapon that can defeat an enemy of this magnitude, and as far as I’m aware, we haven’t got any superheroes. I know asking for a Superman is a bit much, but hell, we’d take Black Lightning right now.”

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