So I came into the office really fucking early the other week, and the place was completely deserted at 5.30am. But it is a 24-hour radio station, so all the lights and TVs were on, and there could have been someone lurking in one of the studios down the corridor, for all I knew.
I'm used to shift work - I did a 9-5 shift a year or so ago and hated it so, so much - so this early in the morning is pretty normal, even if the brain goes to some weird places.
And this particular morning, for some goddamn reason, the radio was playing Tubular Bells and I became utterly convinced I'd wandered into a terrible 70s Italian giallo horror and a creepozoid murderer was creeping up behind me in slow motion.
Everything really got a bit paranoid, and in the end I had to check the whole goddamn office, including all those studios, always checking the corners of every room as soon as I cleared it.
Of course there was nothing, and I wouldn't expect there to be, but I still had to look. Because I wouldn't have been to do any fucking work if I was convinced some loon with a hare lip or something was creeping up behind me, steel garotte at the ready.
And then the early newsreader showed up, and the music changed to some godawful children's radio show and there was no murderer in the sound booth.
Although that's what they'd want me to think, right?