Friday, March 17, 2023

Shoot 'em in the head



I've watched a lot of dumb horror movies, and the one thing I always hate, hate, hate the most is when they knock the killer out, and then just run off, and let the maniac recover and come after them.

Knock them down, sure. Why not cave in their fucking skull with the nearest shovel as well? If you're not sure if Ghostface is alive or not as you slide past him in yet another Scream installment, gouge that dickhead's eyes out while they're down.

Smash their shit up, stomp on their fucking neck. Put them down like the rabid dog they are. In real life I follow the non-violent teachings of all the finest humans, but in my fictions, self defense is the best defense.

I can still remember the sharp disappointment when this happens in the first Wolf Creek movie, and it doesn't turn out well for those who couldn't take a moment to open an Australian psychopath's jugular to the air.

Sometimes you get a movie like You're Next, which was satisfying on that score, because Sharni Vinson's Erin made damn sure that when she got someone down, they stayed down. 

Filmmakers will argue that their characters are too emotionally distraught to get stuck in, or that they wouldn't even have a movie if people acted like this. But if you're being stalked by a murderer, shoot them in the fucking head and nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

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