The R13 kids

I'm so very glad I'm not 12 years old anymore, and not just because I'm avoiding the next decade of deep, deep embarrassment. I'm mainly glad I'm not 12 years old because it means I can go see any film I want, man, and nobody is going to stop me.

A large chunk of my childhood was spent railing against the blatantly unfair age restrictions at the movies. We had a R13 category in this country and they were strict as hell on it. My aunties and cousins took to all sorts of family-friendly films as a kid, (all the big films were always a GY, which meant anyone could go). But I first became aware of the concept that I was too small when Blade Runner came along.

I was 7 when it came out and when I got told I wouldn't be able to go see the new science fiction movie with Han Solo in it, I took as a personal affront. I didn't see it for years and had to make do with the excellent Marvel comics adaption that came in a Christmas gift from Nana. And when I did see it as a 13 year old, I really couldn't see what the fuss was about. Adults were fucking weird about stuff like that.

Not long afterwards, me and my mate Nigel tried to sneak into the Terminator, but got turned away for being obvious 9-year-olds. We went for a swim at the Maori Hill pool instead and it was great, but that poster of Arnie with the red lasers haunted me for years. (I also missed T2 when I was 16 and trapped in a place called Washdyke, and couldn't get to the movie, even though I was definitely old enough by then.)

And then, when I was 18 and had a car and a disposable income, I went to fucking everything I could. All the movies, all the time, no matter what the bloody classifications said. 

I saw a fairly hardcore new horror film the other day and was delighted to discover that I still feel a thrill in going to see something that would have been deemed bad for me, all those years ago. It makes me feel more than an adult than buying a beer, or voting, or starting a family. I'm old enough to see all the blood and guts I want.

Those years are long behind me now, but I still feel the kids' pain. I saw the new Batman film was an R13 at local cinemas, and it would have driven me bloody crazy to be a 12 year old and not allowed to go to a Batman film. Absolutely insane. Good luck, young 'uns!