Thursday, July 6, 2023

I know where the cinema of death is - right at the top of the escalators


The buzz wasn't great from the start, but I knew it wasn't a good sign for The Flash when I saw it was playing in cinema seven at the Event Cinemas complex in central Auckland, because that's the cinema of death.

Anything that is playing on that screen is always underperforming. It's right at the top of the weirdly abandoned complex, right in the corner, and sits just a few dozen punters.

And while it's the type of theatre that is fine for some arthouse or mid-brow thriller, they always seem to put some would-be blockbusters, who are searching for a big crowd and failing miserably. And the cinema managers seem to know what they are doing, because that theatre hasn't been half-filled any time I've been there

I've thought of it as this kind of measure ever since I walked in to see Scott Pilgrim Vs The World on opening weekend, and I swear there were fucking tumbleweeds in that theatre. It was a film with an excellent cast and crew that is genuinely enjoyable on multiple levels, but it was clear in that moment that it would struggle to find an audience. (It did find it on the home viewing circuit, but it's always too fuckin' late by then.)

And ever since then, I've seen a bunch of flailing films in that cinema. And while I love a lot of those movies - box office doesn't ever equate to quality - the message is clear. Cinema seven doesn't lie, because that's where the losers go.

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