Freed from the tyranny of a self-imposed list

For the past few years, I've been taking note of how many films I actually see every year. It was useful to look back on when people asked me what I'd watched recently (my short term memory is shot to hell, man), and to see how many films I actually watch in a single year (usually around the 300-350 mark). 

It was also useful in that it forced me to watch new things, and more films with subtitles. More old films and more movies made in my own country. Less repeat watches, less franchises and sequels, and more films at an actual cinema.

This year I got off to a slow start, and by the end of April was only up to about 70 films, which means I was going to end up watching a lot less than recent years (this is a year to catch up with television). But I was tracking to see far more in the theatre, and a lot of non-English movies, and that gave me the dose of cinematic smugness I need in my film diet.

I never made a Letterboxd list, or made entries in a spreadsheet or database or anything like that. It has always just been a list in notes on my phone, and the other day I fucked it up and completely wiped this year's list.

It was shaping up so well, and it was all lost in a moment of idle bullshit on the phone. I know it was up to 70 films, but I'm fucked if I can remember all of those movies, so the list is a write-off for the year. I'll pick it up again in the sci-fi year of 2027.

But it has been oddly freeing, and my viewing habits are becoming not so rigid, so regimental, this year. I don't have to worry if a strange 69-minute doco on Tubi counts as a feature film, and if I have a mad desire to watch all the Marvel superhero films in a row, just to see how they hold up, I'm not going to fuck up the ratios. I can rewatch as many damn old films as I like.

I will start it up again, but for now, I can watch bits of movies, or the schlockiest of schlock, just because I feel like it, not because I'm trying to achieve some mad quota that absolutely nobody else in the world gives a damn about. 

There might be less old and foreign films that will undoubtedly be transcendentally good when I do finally see them, but I just don't need to worry so much about that for the rest of the year.