On the Hostel Scale

The other day I was dropping off some baking to help Ukraine, because other than the usual unconditional love and support for all the victims of war, there's fuck all else we can do from this end of the world. And I took it to some building in town and ended up down a side corridor and getting a bit lost and it was weird and then I finally found a kitchen full of strange women who seemed happy to see me.

In the end, it was only mild disconcerting, and I would rate it a 3 on the Hostel Scale. It's a scale that registers the feeling you get when you realise you're in an odd place and could just disappear forever and get tortured to death by rich weirdos.

I had a 5 on the Hostel Scale at a Amsterdam comic store where I ended up going down into the basement, and was suddenly convinced there would be the glimpse of a hammer and then I'd be shuttled off to some torture chamber. I got a Justice League reprint in the local language and got the fuck out of there, but then got too stoned and left the comic at the campsite, because that's what happens in Amsterdam.

The only 6 on the Scale I've ever seen was in a movie - and of course it's the basement scene in Zodiac. Fucking hell. Just get out, Jake Gyllenhaal. Just get out!