Monday, August 1, 2011

Venture Bros: They're two completely different Batmen!

1.


"I can't keep doing that, it's starting to make them buggy. Look at this. Dean. What day is this?"

"Sagittarius!"

"Goooooood. Now Hank, what color is my tongue?"

"It's kind of.. Wednesday? Like a light Wednesday?"

***

2.


"Look, Ted. It's just hard. I don't get to meet many women and when I do, they play games."

"I love you. Can we play a game?"

"Right. Exactly. They just move in, change your furniture and start right in with the head games."

***

3.


"Wait, what's with the whip?"

"It came with the hat. It's a detective whip."

***

4.


"Polygamy! Mr Polyygamy! And this is Mrs Polygamy, Mrs Polygamy, Mrs Polygamy and Mrs Polygamy!"

***

5.


"Somebody's in my car."

"That is a legitmate superpower."

"I've seen him do that from another country away."

***

6.


"Leviathan draws near! Death is at hand! We can not outrun the beast!"

"He gets that way around death. It's like he's in a Creed video. Why don't we just go in one of these doors?"

"Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's cool."

***

7.


"Gary. You've seen too much."

"I've seen my only real friend die. I've seen a giant penny run over a guy dressed like a rainbow. I've seen the Donkey Kong kill screen. I've seen attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion."

"Aaaaah! G! A! R! Y! You ain't got no alibi! You're Gary! What, what! You're Gary!"

"Okay, I have not seen that ever!"

***

8.


"Ha ha ha! These ladies are not for you! They are for the Rusty! The Rusty could have any of these women, if he just put in the effort!"

"Lindsay Wagner? Really?"

"Yes! The Rusty met Lindsay Wagner at a party! She was totally into the Rusty! Witty banter was shared! But the Rusty could not seal the deal! This was because the Rusty was tired! Only because of this!"

***

9.


"Billy? Billy!"

"MAS-TER BILL-Y LEFT WITH HIS VIS-I-TORS."

"Robo-Bo! Get the Conject-U-Cycle!"

*dixie horn blares*

***

10.


"Oh my God! This water is fucking freezing! I am NOT properly dressed!"

***

11.


"Dean, I think I know what this is all about. You know, a wise man who was either Gurdjieff or Baba Oje once told me you can never step into the same river twice."

"That makes no sense, sir."

"Triana really likes that boy and they are very happy together. And if you truly love her, you should just move on and be happy that she's happy. Don't you think?"

"You know what I think? Fuck you!"

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