Sunday, September 1, 2024

This is my life now: Faster than the Flash



When it comes to the perennial question of whether Superman or the Flash is faster, I will 100 percent always maintain that the Flash should win that race, because he's the fastest man alive. It's just a law of the universe.

But I'm still faster than the Flash when the Fatboy Slim album You've Come A Long Way Baby is on the car stereo, and reaches track three. Because when that one kicks off, I'm skipping to number four quicker than Wally West's mood swings.

It's a very, very uncool album to be rocking out on the stereo as we drive around town in the year 2024, but the kids love those big beats of the 90s, and things like Fatboy and the Chemicals provide plenty of that. They love the rap, and definitely like the groove of the Wu-Tang and the RTJ, but there is a lot of questionable lyrics that we can not have them repeating in the pre-school yard.

So we play the Fatboy album a lot, and the kids dig the tripping of gangsters and the praising of you, and while language is a social construct and profanity is always funny as hell when it comes from young mouths, I know I will be judged unfavorably if they start walking around talking about 'fucking in heaven'.

That wouldn't end well for anybody.

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