Friday, March 8, 2024

This is my life again: The blasted landscape of Planet Netflix



I never really understood why we never bothered with any of the streaming services, but we just never got around to it. We had shitty internet when it all first blew up, and by the time we got our fiber, we never caught up with anything - no Netflix, no Apple TV, no Disney+.

We all pick our battles, and I've always been fucked off with the way the streamers have destroyed the cinematic landscape, so I saw no reason to give them any more business. (For similar reasons, I've never ridden in an Uber, or got food delivered, or used any of the gig economy services, because the way they've broken workers rights that people literally died for in the last century just really fucks me off.)

But when it turned out we were getting Netflix for free through our power company, I logged on, because I'm literally the only motherfucker on the planet who gave a shit about the stand I was taking. We were getting it anyway, so why not check it out, and see if the gruel is as thin as I always thought.

Of course it's useful, especially when catching up on the last two or three seasons of multiple series that I had fallen behind on - only a season and a half of Bojack to go! - and of course I checked out the few movies by truly great cinematic talents like Scorsese and the Coens, and there is the odd new movie worth a look - I certainly enjoyed the shit out of Pablo LarraĆ­n's El Conde.

But I can see how easy it is to just get stuck endlessly scrolling through the option hours and hours and hours of stiff and it's all just so much slush. I know I'm realising something that everybody else figured out years and years ago, and that ain't nothing to be proud of. and I know that I'm just confirming strange old prejudices about the streamer, but what the hell, might as well follow the crowd, even if I'm bringing up the rear. 

I think the next thing to do is give up and binge on some old sitcom. That always seems to be the logical next step. Or maybe I'll just get the DVD for a favourite movie off the shelf. It's not as convenient, but it's always better than scrolling.

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