Friday, July 14, 2023

Arseholes assemble: All of Guy's gangsters in one place


Guy Ritchie's most recent films are decent enough, but I find them somewhat impersonal and lacking in the kind of surprisingly sharp humour he does so well. I can wait for them to pop up on the TV, or to fill in a couple of hours of a flight, but I won't seek them out. Because while there is always a solid chance of some proper entertainment, it all feels a little inconsequential. 

But I will always turn out for one of his London gangster films, because I sincerely love that shit. All the capers, all the bluster, all the poetic irony. A-grade stars doing outrageous accents. The way they end up making some strong points about the shape of London and the surrounding country, and how it has changed in a new and uncaring millennium, all mixed it with some absolutely gratuitous violence. I eat it all up.

And while I know it's very unlikely we'll ever see the promised sequel to RocknRolla, the one thing I hope is that one day Ritchie does a total Avengers and piles all the characters into the same film for one last victory lap.

Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, RocknRolla and The Gentlemen all obviously take place in the same city, all just around the corner from each other, so there is bound to be some crossover.

So why not give us English Bob getting to slow dance with Mickey the Pikey; or identical cousins Bacon and Turkish having to deal with getting blackmailed by Hugh Grant's Fletcher. The sons of Bullet Tooth Tony and Big Chris going on a proper mission together. Colin Farrell's Coach doing a favour for Mark Strong's Archy. Hell, get Andree 3000's Avi from Revolver into the mix.

It would be super self-indulgent, but Ritchie's sheer cheek at constantly indulging himself is a large appeal of his films. Why the fuck not?

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