Too loud, too quiet

While there have been many staggering upgrades in television technology since I got my first TV in my bedroom, all I want now is a TV set that plays everything at the same volume, because I can't wake up the rest of the house.

If I'm watching a TV show or movie or anything early in the morning or late at night - which is the only goddamned time I get to watch my stories right now - I'm constantly using the volume button on the remote, in both direction, trying to follow the plot, but scared of waking the rest of the family. Because the films and TV shows go from whispered dialogue to huge explosion in an instant, and that shit will wake up the baby, man.

I understand that there are artistic reasons for dialogue obstruction, but I can't follow this shit if I can't hear what they're saying, and the decibel difference between dialogue and sudden blaring music or action can be extraordinary.  

Foreign films are the best for this issue, because you've got the subtitles on, so you can keep things at a barely legible level, but it gets fucking tedious doing this for every single movie.

I've had this issue with the tiny speakers on the 40-inch we watch most of our shit on, and I've had it with rooms where people have spent vulgar amounts of money on setting up a fancy sound system, and they're all the fucking same - all over the fucking show.