This is 50?

It doesn't feel any different, turning 50. Not as much as I thought it would. It's a big number, but it's not the milestones that grind you down, it's the ongoing slog through life.

I did get a nasty cold just before my birthday in January, and a cough lingered on for weeks afterwards, which means that so far my fifties have been one of fever and hacking. But other than that, I still feel like the same idiot I've been for decades now.

I know in my brain that I'm a very different person from the young fool running about in the 90s, smoking away his 20s in a haze before actually doing something with my life. Everything good that has happened in my life came from the decision to go to journalism school when I was 29, but even that is more than two decades ago now.

I thought I was supposed to be getting more conservative as a I get older, but that hasn't happened. Maybe it's because I've been locked out of any generational wealth, still living on every paycheque and still nowhere near owning my own home, but it's mainly because my hatred of bullying and injustice has only got more rock solid over the years, it hasn't been eroded away by fear and loathing.

I may have lost some of the enthusiasm for the media I consume, not as all encompassing and it's taken me a while to figure out I don't need to rage about the most superficial of things, but I think I'm getting there.

And that undying love for a good comic book or movie or tune, it's still there, I still get so happy finding  a book I've been looking for, and some I've been hunting for decades are still out there somewhere (I will have you Lovely Biscuits, oh yes, I will have you). 

The moments when I walk into a random store, and see the Superman v Flash treasury edition going for a song, or finding that one Shooter/Byrne issue of The Avengers that I've been after since 1979, that's when I feel like the same old nerd I always was, and probably always will be.

Here's to the next 50 years, right?

Darwyn's DC: Not always what you expect (part 2 of 2)

 

Darwyn's DC: All superheroes should look like this (part 1 of 2)

I am ideologically opposed to variant covers on comics in almost every case, but that one time DC had the bright idea of letting Darwyn Cooke do whatever he wanted for the covers for one month almost makes it all worthwhile.

It's still very weird to think that Cooke isn't with us any more, these covers alone are so full of wit and momentum and love and grace and power and friendship and life. We should have got another 40 years of this kind of beauty, but will have to be content with the brilliance that we got.

Thirteen days in Twin Peaks: What year is this?

Even with the greatest will and effort in the world, some things just can not be fixed, and some people can not be saved. It will all end in failure, despair and confusion, with a never-ceasing scream of terror echoing through the end. Twin Peaks could not have ended any better.

Thirteen days in Twin Peaks: My concerns are global.

Oh, Albert.

Thirteen days in Twin Peaks: Good night, and thank you Margaret.

You can know the shape of the universe, and see it for all its tragedy and beauty, but it's also okay to be a bit scared at the end of all things. It's really okay.

Thirteen days in Twin Peaks: Fuck Gene Kelly, you motherfucker!

One of the first things I did when I got back to the big city was go see Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me on the big screen, because I'd never seen it like that before. Still, I almost didn't go because I'm still a bit traumatized by the one time I saw Blue Velvet at a theatre, and the entire experience was ruined by a small part of the audience who couldn't deal with the naked earnestness of the film and made sure everyone knew how much smarter they were by laughing out loud at all the wrong times, but then there was only one punter at the Fire Walk With Me screening who laughed very loudly at all the intentionally daffy bits in the first half, but shut the fuck up for the rest of the movie, so all was right with the world.

Thirteen days in Twin Peaks: Fix your hearts or die!

It's so easy to state the obvious sometimes.

Thirteen days in Twin Peaks: It is happening again.

Bad things happen in this world, and sometimes all good people can do is bear witness. Cooper can barely stand it, and later attempts to stop the inevitable will end in total failure.